You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
