you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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