okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
