i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
