you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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