I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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