I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
