woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
