And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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