her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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