Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I stole a fireplace last night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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