I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
