Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
