Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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