i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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