PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
