Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
