brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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