____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
