So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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