thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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