i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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