Your mouth is God's brothel.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Randomize
