sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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