What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
