bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
