Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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