Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
