A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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