i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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