You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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