You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
