yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
