Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
