ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
