Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
