I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
