Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
