i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
dude. I can hear the air.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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