i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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