Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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