I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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