whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
