his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
