I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
