I wannas sexs uuuuu
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
