these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
