I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
