Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
