She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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