:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
