why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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