So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
