Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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