sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
